When did scarcity roll over you, wilting you timid and fearful?
What darkened childhood tale shadowed your lightness and spirit, giving away your bold?
Who changed you so short that your worth became socially outsourced to the new and unknown?
When the sun rises it reminds us with furious beauty that moments are spectacular. Well thought plans, penned goals and shiny thoughts trivial pursuits of those who will never grow.
The rain that drenched you with indignation, coming unannounced on a summer day? The universes way of tapping you awake to all you never will control.
What happened between the first moments your eyes opened to the universe to where you stand today? Unable to muster the courage to stutter the words your heart desires, I miss you, I love you, please don’t go.
Our heart and our soul intuitively tells us when we are home.
An unspoken settled place is our being, a warmth, a person who undoubtedly many lifetimes we have known.
Tell me, when did scarcity roll over you?
Leaving you all alone.
The disability of ego
Sincere hearts kept at arm’s length
Who is right and who is wrong
Protective bricks to appear strong
Is compassion and open nature for the weakest of souls
Or is our ego filling spaces needed to grow
In anger and silence we polish our pride
Suffocating connection in an effort to hide
The disability of ego will always try to win
An open heart, my chosen kin
Every line and scar I wear and the things you see in my eyes when I do not speak tell a story that is called “my life”. Those who care to know will show gentle curiosity and those who don’t were never meant for my soul. Unsolicited advice is rarely offered in love. Simply the words from those who believe in judgement that my destination is their entitled road. I have fallen like the rest with deafening and heart breaking thumps. I offer thanks. I deeply cherish the rare who helped me stand back up when I was down. I walk with humility and extend the love I wish to know. To think my behavior and care I do or do not show does not affect the world around me would create stagnant flow. Today, I understand the importance of letting my true heart being felt and shown. I wake up scared as there is so much I do not know. This is life and the fabric that will make you whole. I have been blessed to have known love and even if it doesn’t show up it is the direction I choose to go. Criticism is for those with holes in their buckets and are not mine to repair or fill. Their field is theirs. Plant your seeds and care for them if you want them to grow. Time offered in trust, respect and care is the key to my heart. My instruction manual is as follows; be genuine and open and we’ll be all right. I have been around long enough to see the raw workings of life. The nectar of happiness, live with a kind heart and gentle eyes.
It is without knowing or guarantee. Blindly jumping off an unfelt edge with no assurance of bottom or gentle landing. Faith in its purest form. Looking out in to the night and desperately trying to adjust your eyes to see, all the while knowing the only thing you need to adjust to is your comfort in total darkness.
Moments that carry our deepest hopes and fears in equal measure. Exposed and held in the same open palm, unprotected and offered to another. In shortness of breath our racing mind tries to control speed and steady the direction with a false sense of security. The universe quietly taps our awareness with heightened physical responses, panic, fear.
Reality; authenticity walks with neither regulation nor control of outcome. Hard and painful, joyous and exhilarating in one deliciously sharp bite. It is your mind screaming “be safe”, reminding you of the last time your heart was shattered in to a million pieces. While your heart steadily whispers “trust”. It is brave, strong, tender, humbling and courageous. The journey long. The destination? True happiness.
Longing for placid waters that lap the sound of what my heart has spoken
Sitting on my beach I trust in my warmth
Just as where the river meets the ocean
Strong currents and individual temperatures must navigate alone as they try to merge whole
All part of nature, no persons place to judge or control
Where is the line between who we were and who we are?
Is it ever a line or rather a continuum, an evolution of sorts?
A weaving of a contextual story that perhaps only I should know?
Observers with opinion can consume needed breath, interfering with flow
Yesterday I retreated to an old shore
Only to be reminded
I don’t live there anymore
I have learned
Many will knock on your outer door
Invite in only those of good character
Your soul is your home, not all need to be welcomed to walk on your floor
My table feeds a bounty of goodness and kind but seats a chosen few
My company, my chosen story, only pure hearts bind me whole and new
Lack of values tossed with miss guided intentions always seem to fall disappointingly short
When people arrive with anything less than authentic, relationships are neither genuine nor true
I have learned to sit in quiet in the middle of my night
To feel uncomfortable dark and my effervescent light
In my dustiest times when I hear that metaphorical knock on the door of life
Intuition speaks of who needs to keep walking and comes with strife
I honor my home and yours alike, welcoming in only those who respect space with trusted care
My heart is precious, only love lives there
As I looked to the sky today the clouds seemed to carry depths I do not know
A storm quietly warming a familiar heart ache that arrives from a distant shore
Do you hear its tap
Can you feel its pull
Weighted complexity seemed to be grieving in the skies
Equal as they dance and fight
The harsh poetic beauty of the struggles between the darkness and the light
I sat by the river under that sky breathing in the clouds and all that she spoke
In my silence unpredictable currents thrashed me about, swallowing me whole
It was as if the sky was trying to tell me something
All those clouds that seemed to carry depths I do not know
My heart so very grateful of the river today
Reminding me to trust her flow
Love is not waiting in time
A well-rehearsed dance, a jockeying of hope to be regarded in kind
It is not a recipe with purchased ingredients of those sour experiences trapped in our mind
There are no walls or impenetrable spaces, our hearts are never to be kept in closely guarded cases
Love is alive in moments and space
Captured in good faith and held with genuine regard
Even in times when bravery and vulnerability feel so incredibly hard
To feel without measure and show up with respectful intentions
Learning through eyes and hearing what is not always spoken
Trusting we are here to nurture and never to leave another broken
Exchanges of deepening glances regardless of historical weather
Valuing care and touch, painting connection with the lightness of a feather
An awareness to honor a heart you love with precious hold
Never waiting in time, knowing
Love it is rare and bold
It isn’t my place
No plan or hope for a connection that I wish to keep
My table seats few
The spirits poured of particular character and taste, the company never cheap
Arms wide open
I am not sure your ego has allowed you to remove your blinders and fully come to see
My wing span now
The simple reflection that I have set myself free
No longer do I stand to extend myself to you in trust and good faith
See my eyes, hear my lack of words
Your delusions of me have been neatly left at the door
My respect for you sharply stuck in my back and the reality
I was always just an acquaintance