Tell Me

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When did scarcity roll over you, wilting you timid and fearful?

What darkened childhood tale shadowed your lightness and spirit, giving away your bold?

Who changed you so short that your worth became socially outsourced to the new and unknown?

When the sun rises it reminds us with furious beauty that moments are spectacular. Well thought plans, penned goals and shiny thoughts trivial pursuits of those who will never grow.

The rain that drenched you with indignation, coming unannounced on a summer day? The universes way of tapping you awake to all you never will control.

What happened between the first moments your eyes opened to the universe to where you stand today? Unable to muster the courage to stutter the words your heart desires, I miss you, I love you, please don’t go.

Our heart and our soul intuitively tells us when we are home.

An unspoken settled place is our being, a warmth, a person who undoubtedly many lifetimes we have known.

Tell me, when did scarcity roll over you?

Leaving you all alone.

~Alisa Hutton

The Disability of Ego

ego

The disability of ego

Sincere hearts kept at arm’s length

Walls built

Who is right and who is wrong

Protective bricks to appear strong

Is compassion and open nature for the weakest of souls

Or is our ego filling spaces needed to grow

In anger and silence we polish our pride

Suffocating connection in an effort to hide

The disability of ego will always try to win

An open heart, my chosen kin

~Alisa Hutton

Maturity

Time

Every line and scar I wear and the things you see in my eyes when I do not speak tell a story that is called “my life”. Those who care to know will show gentle curiosity and those who don’t were never meant for my soul.  Unsolicited advice is rarely offered in love. Simply the words from those who believe in judgement that my destination is their entitled road. I have fallen like the rest with deafening and heart breaking thumps. I offer thanks. I deeply cherish the rare who helped me stand back up when I was down. I walk with humility and extend the love I wish to know. To think my behavior and care I do or do not show does not affect the world around me would create stagnant flow. Today, I understand the importance of letting my true heart being felt and shown. I wake up scared as there is so much I do not know. This is life and the fabric that will make you whole. I have been blessed to have known love and even if it doesn’t show up it is the direction I choose to go. Criticism is for those with holes in their buckets and are not mine to repair or fill. Their field is theirs. Plant your seeds and care for them if you want them to grow. Time offered in trust, respect and care is the key to my heart. My instruction manual is as follows; be genuine and open and we’ll be all right. I have been around long enough to see the raw workings of life. The nectar of happiness, live with a kind heart and gentle eyes.

-maturity  

~Alisa Hutton

Vulnerability

vulnerable

It is without knowing or guarantee. Blindly jumping off an unfelt edge with no assurance of bottom or gentle landing. Faith in its purest form. Looking out in to the night and desperately trying to adjust your eyes to see, all the while knowing the only thing you need to adjust to is your comfort in total darkness.

Moments that carry our deepest hopes and fears in equal measure. Exposed and held in the same open palm, unprotected and offered to another. In shortness of breath our racing mind tries to control speed and steady the direction with a false sense of security. The universe quietly taps our awareness with heightened physical responses, panic, fear.

Reality; authenticity walks with neither regulation nor control of outcome. Hard and painful, joyous and exhilarating in one deliciously sharp bite. It is your mind screaming “be safe”, reminding you of the last time your heart was shattered in to a million pieces. While your heart steadily whispers “trust”. It is brave, strong, tender, humbling and courageous.  The journey long. The destination? True happiness.

-vulnerability

~Alisa Hutton

Continuum

trust

Longing for placid waters that lap the sound of what my heart has spoken

Sitting on my beach I trust in my warmth

Just as where the river meets the ocean

Strong currents and individual temperatures must navigate alone as they try to merge whole

All part of nature, no persons place to judge or control

Where is the line between who we were and who we are?

Is it ever a line or rather a continuum, an evolution of sorts?

A weaving of a contextual story that perhaps only I should know?

Observers with opinion can consume needed breath, interfering with flow

Yesterday I retreated to an old shore

Only to be reminded

I don’t live there anymore

~Alisa Hutton

My Home

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I have learned

Many will knock on your outer door

Invite in only those of good character

Your soul is your home, not all need to be welcomed to walk on your floor

My table feeds a bounty of goodness and kind but seats a chosen few

My company, my chosen story, only pure hearts bind me whole and new

Lack of values tossed with miss guided intentions always seem to fall disappointingly short

When people arrive with anything less than authentic, relationships are neither genuine nor true

I have learned to sit in quiet in the middle of my night

To feel uncomfortable dark and my effervescent light

In my dustiest times when I hear that metaphorical knock on the door of life

Intuition speaks of who needs to keep walking and comes with strife

I honor my home and yours alike, welcoming in only those who respect space with trusted care

My heart is precious, only love lives there

~Alisa Hutton

Arrival

arrive

I speak with gentle consciousness

My words are being written on her heart

Remarkable is who she is, nothing less and so much more

Holding trust and respect in tender hand as I arrive at her door

I have learned, understanding is loves others name

Now etched on my soul

Bind benevolence in silk and keep her warm

She is the grace of an exquisite spirit

A message in a bottle poetically arriving on my shore

Inamorata, to be cherished in grateful hold

~Alisa Hutton

Hear It’s Tap

trust

As I looked to the sky today the clouds seemed to carry depths I do not know

A storm quietly warming a familiar heart ache that arrives from a distant shore

Quiet yourself

Do you hear its tap

Can you feel its pull

Weighted complexity seemed to be grieving in the skies

Equal as they dance and fight

The harsh poetic beauty of the struggles between the darkness and the light

I sat by the river under that sky breathing in the clouds and all that she spoke

In my silence unpredictable currents thrashed me about, swallowing me whole

Today

It was as if the sky was trying to tell me something

All those clouds that seemed to carry depths I do not know

My heart so very grateful of the river today

Reminding me to trust her flow

~Alisa Hutton

Love Is

heart

Love is not waiting in time

A well-rehearsed dance, a jockeying of hope to be regarded in kind

It is not a recipe with purchased ingredients of those sour experiences trapped in our mind

There are no walls or impenetrable spaces, our hearts are never to be kept in closely guarded cases

Love is alive in moments and space

Captured in good faith and held with genuine regard

Even in times when bravery and vulnerability feel so incredibly hard

To feel without measure and show up with respectful intentions

Learning through eyes and hearing what is not always spoken

Trusting we are here to nurture and never to leave another broken

Exchanges of deepening glances regardless of historical weather

Valuing care and touch, painting connection with the lightness of a feather

An awareness to honor a heart you love with precious hold

Never waiting in time, knowing

Love it is rare and bold

~Alisa Hutton

Wide Open

angels

It isn’t my place

No plan or hope for a connection that I wish to keep

My table seats few

The spirits poured of particular character and taste, the company never cheap

Arms wide open

I am not sure your ego has allowed you to remove your blinders and fully come to see

My wing span now

The simple reflection that I have set myself free

No longer do I stand to extend myself to you in trust and good faith

See my eyes, hear my lack of words

Your delusions of me have been neatly left at the door

My respect for you sharply stuck in my back and the reality

I was always just an acquaintance

Nothing more

~Alisa Hutton