The Flowers Death

fl

Edges curling in, weathered

A depressed muted brown bleeds where vibrancy once thrived

The color of apathy and lost purpose

Quietly spoken, perhaps purpose and possibility were never found

Not all flowers die beautifully

Spirit can fold in, cold and fetal without a sound

Air becomes gnarled, sharply chewing decay in hope

The flowers death

A silent and vulgar unbecoming

Mirroring a life I know

~Alisa Hutton

 

 

When She Goes Silent

When she goes silent

When she goes silent, you need to listen

Find her in a dusted corner

Blinds drawn

A room for one

Black and white with broken wings

Her words her mind, unspoken her heart

Darkness, struggle and ferocity will shake you in prose

Inner depths echo only in her eyes

Silent

She screams to be heard, never held

Find her heart and warm it carefully

When she goes silent, you need to listen

~Alisa Hutton

Isolation

island

An island of sadness inhabited by one. The sun no longer seems to rise here or bring a new day. Darkness and silence the only companion to give you warmth. Platitudes arrive on the shore. A message in a bottle from those who feel so far away. I have run the island for months on end in panic and desperation for signs of life, a genuine soul who offers compassion and care. The only thing I seem to find is the reflection of my heart slowing in beat from a lifetime of wear. I often wonder does any of it matter. Will I one day just quietly accept this island stay. Perhaps the learning is accepting the reality and allowing it all to slip away.

-isolation

~Alisa Hutton

Illumination

sad

Look for them

Notice the person who is looking down, see them in their perfect human form

Hold their hand in silent know

The quiet one, who without announcement carries recognizable sadness in their eyes

See them

Nurture their worry in gentle sway, lay with them, sorrow and grief should never be alone

Let their tenderness and vulnerability mirror the compassion you were once shown

Breathe life and spirit in to beautifully tired souls

None of us better than the other, we all have our shadows that can swallow us whole

Let light and dark be the fabric that connects us together

Feel me

I am your sister, friend and mother

Grow authenticity, remove the unnecessary societal covers

They only serve to starve us all from one another

At the end of our life only one thing can be left behind

The love you share by simply being kind

~Alisa Hutton

Unfortunate Ways

door

Spirit

The seat of emotions and character; the soul

Did you hear it speak to you once

Delivered through my eyes, breathing love in to your own

Were you aware the extension was scary, did you know my heart trembled in fear

Vulnerability, not something I was fed from birth

Shame and anger more often near

Did you notice when I was brave and took a path I did not know

Was my warmth and sincerity felt

My thoughts and feelings; special should always be respected in truth and care

Did it make you feel as though you’d never stand alone

I walk away gently and with clarity as I close the door

The only sadness I carry with me is the cost I had to pay

I seemingly have lost my spirit

In the most unfortunate way

~Alisa Hutton

Empty

empty

There is a misconception that the deepest sadness we will feel in life

Is having to part ways and say goodbye

The loss of a knowing fill, the comfort of another and their warmth in our space

It is a fallacy and the matter at hand is larger you will see, possibly the very thing that will set you free

There comes a time when we see and feel, the most difficult reality to honor and embrace

Well beyond the drain and loss of any goodbye

Is the slow death of watching your spirit diminish and die

Life’s biggest challenge in what feels like human natures longest lesson

We feed our sadness in wish and hope and struggling to let go

But the only thing that matters in our wake and flow…..

It is only ourselves that we must trust and know

~Alisa Hutton

Tsunami

tsunami.jpg

Sadness

Deep sadness

It is as though you are standing on the shore watching a wall of water come in

No matter what direction you look or how far you tilt your head back

Just a wall of powerful water, a Tsunami

You feel small

You are small

You wonder will it knock you over or leave you unconscious

Where it will take you, will you know your way?

Will you even survive? Do you even want to?

Will anyone notice you were swallowed up by the ocean?

Grief

Spirit sucking grief

It as though in a moment of sunshine someone dives in to your chest violently grabbing your heart

You don’t expect it, you never do

It comes at 3 am and shakes you awake, running away with your breath

You try to catch it, gasping, choking

You can’t

The lights are turned on

Except your light

Your light is out

Total darkness

You wonder if anyone can see you if you can’t see yourself?

Walking around with your weighted vest, heavy

Nothing else

Just useless weight

Tears become quiet, unpredictable, constant

You hope maybe they wash it away, even a little

You just want some relief, less pain

The grief hurts

The sadness hurts

It all hurts in ways that words cannot express

Does anyone out there know

Can anyone tell me

How to not love?

~Alisa Hutton