Evening Wish

Man collecting the stars and putting them in a wheelbarrow.

Laying on my back I looked up for a moment

If only I could be

That star so far away in the distant sky

Peacefully shining on its own and quietly offering light

Enjoying the safety of a simple existence in the middle of the night

~Alisa Hutton

Ms. J. Doe

Jane Doe

Today I looked in the eyes of a woman I did not know

Laying quietly across from one another in a hospital corridor

Twice my age, quietly breathing the end of her story

I looked in her eyes and they seemed to mirror my own

I saw fear, sadness and loneliness in my reflection

Hers, the same deep brown as mine and tilted in similar bend

Yet, they were somewhere else

A place I didn’t know, a place that made me uncomfortable

As we laid quietly in our separate but shared space, I thought is this what it is all about?

Do we eventually end up in a corridor alone?

No comfort of love, no familiarity of a life known or lived?

No hand holding ours, no last I love you?

Does our story end with a stranger in a hall, the only comfort our own?

I couldn’t help but feel my life had been deeply scratched for a reason unknown

Something of this was meant to echo

Was it meant to reverberate a space?

Is it meant for me to open or close?

I really don’t know

I hope she could feel that I saw her life beside me and I felt her soul

I have to believe in the end

It is about something more

Than being alone in a corridor

­~Alisa Hutton

Wonderland

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I I sometimes wonder if I read Alice in Wonderland too many times as a child. Perhaps too many rainy days spent outside as a 6 year old? In the quiet looking at the water rushing down the street creating great stories of wild, river adventures in my mind. While all the other kids were playing kick the can in the August heat there I was laying on my back in the grass forming animal shapes in the clouds. Watching neighborhood kids build tree forts while I sat on the cement contently drawing my pictures on scrap pieces of paper with my broken crayons.

Always observing, quietly watching. Not understanding it all but unbendingly curious. When life became noisy, felt unfair or hard I would make my own wonderland. Diving in to my vivid imagination full of color and magic. With a delayed blink I could transport myself to a wonderful place where the flowers grew better, the grass softer and greener, and the sky always bright blue with fluffy white clouds. Rainbows around every corner. Everyone smiled and was full of love in my wonderland. Hearts were so big and full you just had to stop and say hello to them.

With a delayed blink I can still transport myself there. I wonder, was it protective nature or early wisdom. Do we have imagination to make the world feel a little less lonely and harsh? Or maybe we have imagination because we are the people who are supposed to create a more magical world? Maybe we see it so others can believe a better world exist for them too?

Either way, I like my wonderland.

~Alisa Hutton