Vulnerability

vulnerable

It is without knowing or guarantee. Blindly jumping off an unfelt edge with no assurance of bottom or gentle landing. Faith in its purest form. Looking out in to the night and desperately trying to adjust your eyes to see, all the while knowing the only thing you need to adjust to is your comfort in total darkness.

Moments that carry our deepest hopes and fears in equal measure. Exposed and held in the same open palm, unprotected and offered to another. In shortness of breath our racing mind tries to control speed and steady the direction with a false sense of security. The universe quietly taps our awareness with heightened physical responses, panic, fear.

Reality; authenticity walks with neither regulation nor control of outcome. Hard and painful, joyous and exhilarating in one deliciously sharp bite. It is your mind screaming “be safe”, reminding you of the last time your heart was shattered in to a million pieces. While your heart steadily whispers “trust”. It is brave, strong, tender, humbling and courageous.  The journey long. The destination? True happiness.

-vulnerability

~Alisa Hutton

A Fine Mist

mist

Love you feel, unspoken

That long hug you want to extend, never given

Desires so deeply churning inside, forever hidden

Instincts of vulnerability wrapped and boxed, echoed silent thoughts

Perception of a safe life and uniformity held with higher regard than the breath that gives you life

Your heart beat reflects not the love you feel but the tick of your beating clock

With a heart full of love and a soul cracked wide open

I wonder with curiosity

Why you are watching it all disappear like a fine mist floating through your fingertips

~Alisa Hutton

Perhaps

perhaps

How do you say goodbye to love, effectively let it go?

Perhaps you don’t

Perhaps you aren’t supposed to

Maybe that is why love is so special

Maybe once you have felt love it lives inside of you until the end of time

Could it be we aren’t supposed to fear love

Could it be we aren’t supposed to grieve love

In my simplistic heart and untethered mind

Love seems to be something special

I curiously wonder

What would happen

If when we found it

We just said I love you

If when we found it

We simply felt

Trusting that no matter what path the love takes

Love will always exist

Love will just be

Forever more

~Alisa Hutton

Love That is Kept

love

The simplicity of sharing, connection

We care for another, our relationship, me to you and you to I

In raw essence a desire to love and be loved

Somewhere and somehow comes the trickle of rigid thoughts

Ego

We are being taught

We are being judged

Sized and sorted for worth

Holding on to our inner most thoughts and feelings

Fear the open and free

Interpreted intent other than love for one another

Simplicity strays losing its way

Lost in care, lost in compassion, lost in kindness

Blinded by our own internal sight of protective rules and historical hurt

Human art covered for no other soul to appreciate or adore in its naked and true form

To be loved

Unique color and fine stroke

Blurred

In quiet breathe one comes to understand that love not accepted, seen or understood is the materialized burden another is carrying on their back

Only the heaviness is carried by all of us

For love not given is love not accepted, the two must dance in mutual fall

It is the complexity of our unique human art

The human paradox

In quiet you will find  the boundless love you have to give and a purity of love you need to burst in full color

The inhale and exhale of equal importance to a genuine life

Complimentary existence for happiness

You will learn that love unlived, unsaid and unshared is the root of human rot

You will learn this particular shade is the only color shared on my canvas and yours

The same fears and vulnerabilities

Yet here we sit holding on to our love as if it is some how wrong to give

Sad as I do believe

Love that is kept

Is never felt at all

~Alisa Hutton