Twin Flames

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Cosmic reunions

Sacred Renewals

Held as the sun rose

Entwined in its set

Lapping waves

Quietly felt understanding and gentle respect

I heard the taps and felt the pangs

Darkness came in the middle of our night

Silencing the stillness of breath

Twin flames

A chosen road

The true essence of our deepest heart

A shared walk, finding the light in the darkness of our night

~Alisa Hutton

 

 

The Disability of Ego

ego

The disability of ego

Sincere hearts kept at arm’s length

Walls built

Who is right and who is wrong

Protective bricks to appear strong

Is compassion and open nature for the weakest of souls

Or is our ego filling spaces needed to grow

In anger and silence we polish our pride

Suffocating connection in an effort to hide

The disability of ego will always try to win

An open heart, my chosen kin

~Alisa Hutton

Isolation

island

An island of sadness inhabited by one. The sun no longer seems to rise here or bring a new day. Darkness and silence the only companion to give you warmth. Platitudes arrive on the shore. A message in a bottle from those who feel so far away. I have run the island for months on end in panic and desperation for signs of life, a genuine soul who offers compassion and care. The only thing I seem to find is the reflection of my heart slowing in beat from a lifetime of wear. I often wonder does any of it matter. Will I one day just quietly accept this island stay. Perhaps the learning is accepting the reality and allowing it all to slip away.

-isolation

~Alisa Hutton

My Love Letter To You

You asked me to write you a love letter. This probably isn’t going to be what you were expecting. You see I can’t and won’t write you a love letter in the way you want. I can’t write or say anything that will authentically fill you up and bring light to your darkest corners like you can.my love letter

Of course there are many things I could say about you and for you. I do love you and because I do I will not let anyone be responsible for your happiness, except you. You see, I don’t ever want me or anyone else to hold the key to your happiness. I hope you understand. I want to be assured that when people walk out of your life (and they will) that you will remain happy because that is what you are, happy.

You are a good person, kind, generous, spirited, funny, intelligent and beautiful inside and out. I know this. These are some of the many reasons why I love you. Whether you know it or not your laugh, smile and warmth light up people around you all the time. I wish for you to be able to feel that in yourself as the rest of us have had the honor to.

My love letter to you, is that I hope you always see your beauty and worth. I hope you cherish it by living a good, genuine and meaningful life, whatever that looks like for you. I hope you feel love. I hope you give love. I hope you can find something to smile and laugh about every day. I hope your spirit stays strong, as you are.

I wish I could protect you from the hard, sad, empty and painful times. I can’t though. I am telling you this because I love you. I want you to know though you will be okay, you will be better than okay. You are solid, your heart is good and you are made to be happy. The difficult times will pass, they always do.

I wish I could write you a love letter that would keep you warm, safe and happy for the rest of your life but I love you too much to sprinkle you with words of flattery. All the love letter you need is already inside of you, always has been and always will be.

This is my love letter to you.

~Alisa Hutton

 

Solid Form

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A smooth stone held humbly in my hand

Rubbing it in nurture against my now lined palm

I hold this part of my past in solid form

One of many rocks that once filled my warm pockets

How easily the weight sunk me to the bottom of the ocean

I recall the murky waters as I sat on the sea bed floor

The pain I felt as the salt stung my eyes trying to see a glimmer of care and compassion

How I squinted in to the open nothing and found everything

As the sun set that day, as the moon pulled the tide

The sand that was tossed with fraught in to my waters settled in to my soul

My hands had always been free to empty my life of your rocks

Weight that they carried with intentions to sink replaced with light spirits

I came to understand the rocks you left in my pockets never deserved space or hope

My gratitude will always extend to you for the day I learned to rise to the top and effortlessly float

~Alisa Hutton

I Am Me

Simply

I am scared but never fearful

I once lost myself deeply in love

I found myself because of this

It will always be a successful relationship for this reason

I have made poor choices that came with a landslide of shame and remorse

I learned the importance of never putting my values down

I breathe them now

Those values line the soles of my shoes

I don’t regret my choices for they have taught me

I stumble and I fall

I always get back up

It will happen again

I am not perfect

I never will be nor do I care to chase illusions of such

My humility and compassion live in my fabric because of this

My glass is not half empty nor half full

My life and attitude are not measured by a glass

I am open and vast and ever-expanding

My heart is pure and this is all the perfect I need

I make no apologies for who I have been or who I am

I am strength and gentle in equal force

Simply

I am me.

~Alisa Hutton

Illumination

sad

Look for them

Notice the person who is looking down, see them in their perfect human form

Hold their hand in silent know

The quiet one, who without announcement carries recognizable sadness in their eyes

See them

Nurture their worry in gentle sway, lay with them, sorrow and grief should never be alone

Let their tenderness and vulnerability mirror the compassion you were once shown

Breathe life and spirit in to beautifully tired souls

None of us better than the other, we all have our shadows that can swallow us whole

Let light and dark be the fabric that connects us together

Feel me

I am your sister, friend and mother

Grow authenticity, remove the unnecessary societal covers

They only serve to starve us all from one another

At the end of our life only one thing can be left behind

The love you share by simply being kind

~Alisa Hutton

My Shadow

copper

Day after day it came

I grieved

I asked for it to stop

I prayed, no begged, please

Day after day it came

I grieved

I asked if not for it to stop then just a break

I prayed, no begged, please

I grieved

One tired day

I could not pray, I could not beg

I sat in my shadow, just me in my darkness

With my grief that wouldn’t go away

Without notice

Without command

Without direction

Grief gently floated away

My whole heart, the only thing that came to visit me today

~Alisa Hutton

The Arbutus Tree

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When I was a little girl there was a tree that grew near me

I recall asking my Mom about why this tree looked so different from al the others near our home

My eyes always drawn to how it would bend in inviting ways, without sharp corners or rigid lines

Its smooth exterior skin exposed from coarse bark

My child wonder could not help but run my tiny hands along its surface

I would sit on my patch of grass looking at this lone tree, admiring its whimsical ways and open nature

It was an Arbutus

As shared by my Mom this one in particular was very special

For the Arbutus usually don’t do well too far from the ocean

This one did though, a lone, strong Arbutus living far from its desired home yet gifting me with its beauty

I would pay extra attention to the Arbutus, proudly telling the tale that it was a very special treat for us have in growing where it did

 

I sat at the ocean edge today admiring an Arbutus

It reminded me of my childhood memory

Filling myself with the salt air I thought of my strong roots and the Arbutus that grew so well even in its less than ideal surroundings

I thought about the beauty in its exposed ways, how it lives in bend and curve, never with rigidity

The salt of the ocean offering it nourishment, healing and growth

Maybe the Arbutus that lived near me would have thrived more so living near the sea

It seeded before my time and flourished long past my childhood

During that time it continued to grow and extend its beauty in its unique way

What made it so special to me was that it managed to do so when so many thought it couldn’t be

So many years later and I think I understand why I came to know

The story of the Arbutus tree

~Alisa Hutton