Moments

Moments

Ubiquitous time resting in polarities of heartache and eternal euphoria. A loving glance, touch, etched in the permanence of our hearts with love. Spoken anger and impatience, how I wish we could move space and gently fold back time. The sweet smell of warm August nights and honeysuckle, to remind us of the days, less worry and bountiful joy. The sound of a siren passing by in an otherwise ordinary moment, resurrects the sharp memory of the day our lives changed forever. Sunday mornings, the quiet, a gift bestowed on us, to reset, rest, and gently remind us to settle into the rituals of nurturing routine and simplicity. Looking out the window of the airplane on the way to say goodbye to a loved one, as you fly above the clouds you find peace and understanding that the universe is made of so much more than our limited senses comprehend. That first bite of warm apple pie that transports you to sitting at your Grandmothers table and the ever-present scent of cinnamon in her kitchen and the comfort of her unwavering love. Our moments, akin to a leaf floating on the ocean, she flows with the tide, the sun and moon decidedly dictate her path. The leaf surely experiencing days of glorious sunshine and tumultuous storms, all the while floating, always moving and never in control. Her story started long ago, she has travelled from limb to land, with tales of wind and glory. Equally fragile and strong, storing moments, built on a continuum connected time . The leaf of autumn, much like you and I. Glorious in her lifelong story, travelling in moments, without a sound.

By Alisa Hutton

Duality

duality

Duality

She will pull you effortlessly across a room with her quiet glance

Gently dropping you with her soft spoken verse

Delicate fingers map your edges, craving anticipation

The sacred feminine

Wet dexterous intellect

Seductively snapping the bones of egotistical ill spirit

Unmistakable audacious darkness

Keeping those faint of substance at arm’s length

Free of contamination, writhe with experience

Dancing through her night whilst dreaming her prose

Stretched out like a lioness during her wake

The sacred feminine

Breathless

Duality

~ Alisa Hutton

 

 

About That

 

belonging

When did I forget?

Where in between knowing how to roar and pounce with ferocity did I start to bow to what was dumped on my shore

When did I stop kicking the garbage aside and let it burrow in my heart, that shit, nothing but genetic folklore

Who handed over the gift of my worth and desire like weightless confetti thrown effortlessly, just as ignorance breathes nonsense

At what God forsaken turn did I believe what I was told rather than what my intuition knows?

When did I roll over on my back and let life happen, lose my laughter, spice and interest

Who let me, why did they let me, who was cheering for me, did they not see me go

Get up

Stand up

Stop looking down

You and me

We’re meant for so much more

-Belonging

By Alisa Hutton

Silence

silence

There is a quiet voice inside of me I wish could be heard

Inner whispers of a raw hearts hope

Perplexing, too tender to speak and too loud to ignore

In passing moments my quiet voice is kept on wait

An arm’s length away from authentic

It curiously feels as if a leaf tenderly falls from my tree

Leaving empty spaces deep in my roots and little pangs of hurt in my soul

Wishes drifting in the wind

In those who choose not to speak

In silence, nothing ever takes hold

-silence

~Alisa Hutton

Maturity

Time

Every line and scar I wear and the things you see in my eyes when I do not speak tell a story that is called “my life”. Those who care to know will show gentle curiosity and those who don’t were never meant for my soul.  Unsolicited advice is rarely offered in love. Simply the words from those who believe in judgement that my destination is their entitled road. I have fallen like the rest with deafening and heart breaking thumps. I offer thanks. I deeply cherish the rare who helped me stand back up when I was down. I walk with humility and extend the love I wish to know. To think my behavior and care I do or do not show does not affect the world around me would create stagnant flow. Today, I understand the importance of letting my true heart being felt and shown. I wake up scared as there is so much I do not know. This is life and the fabric that will make you whole. I have been blessed to have known love and even if it doesn’t show up it is the direction I choose to go. Criticism is for those with holes in their buckets and are not mine to repair or fill. Their field is theirs. Plant your seeds and care for them if you want them to grow. Time offered in trust, respect and care is the key to my heart. My instruction manual is as follows; be genuine and open and we’ll be all right. I have been around long enough to see the raw workings of life. The nectar of happiness, live with a kind heart and gentle eyes.

-maturity  

~Alisa Hutton

Salt

salt

Nails bleeding

Clawing yourself out

Primal

Gasping for authentic air to touch your soul

Scars rot with infection begging to feel the warmth of new life unfold

Even the most gentle of touches hurt

Cracked open

Raw

Salt poured on open wounds

The paradox of the heal and burn

~Alisa Hutton

My Love Letter To You

You asked me to write you a love letter. This probably isn’t going to be what you were expecting. You see I can’t and won’t write you a love letter in the way you want. I can’t write or say anything that will authentically fill you up and bring light to your darkest corners like you can.my love letter

Of course there are many things I could say about you and for you. I do love you and because I do I will not let anyone be responsible for your happiness, except you. You see, I don’t ever want me or anyone else to hold the key to your happiness. I hope you understand. I want to be assured that when people walk out of your life (and they will) that you will remain happy because that is what you are, happy.

You are a good person, kind, generous, spirited, funny, intelligent and beautiful inside and out. I know this. These are some of the many reasons why I love you. Whether you know it or not your laugh, smile and warmth light up people around you all the time. I wish for you to be able to feel that in yourself as the rest of us have had the honor to.

My love letter to you, is that I hope you always see your beauty and worth. I hope you cherish it by living a good, genuine and meaningful life, whatever that looks like for you. I hope you feel love. I hope you give love. I hope you can find something to smile and laugh about every day. I hope your spirit stays strong, as you are.

I wish I could protect you from the hard, sad, empty and painful times. I can’t though. I am telling you this because I love you. I want you to know though you will be okay, you will be better than okay. You are solid, your heart is good and you are made to be happy. The difficult times will pass, they always do.

I wish I could write you a love letter that would keep you warm, safe and happy for the rest of your life but I love you too much to sprinkle you with words of flattery. All the love letter you need is already inside of you, always has been and always will be.

This is my love letter to you.

~Alisa Hutton